BJ & Ze Proust Questionnaire

[Chris]

I've got lots of karma the last few days, THANK YOU!!

Jerry Tuxhorn

1. What is your current state of mind?
Confused. Am I dead or alive?

2. What is your greatest fear?
Being caught with my pants down again.

3. What trait do you most deplore in yourself?
I can't pick winners.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Deceit.

5. What living person do you most admire?
The British couple who managed to con everybody for years, pretending the husband died in a canoeing accident.

6. Which living person do you most despise?
Todd Moncrief. Sticks his nose into things that are none of his business.

7. On what occasion do you lie?
Can I take the Fifth on this one?

8. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Joan

9. When and where were you happiest?
The night I won two hundred grand in a poker game. If only I hadn't agreed to play double or nothing afterwards...

10. Which talent would you most like to have?
Being a winner.

11. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would like to know how to stop playing before I start loosing.

12. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Winning those two hundred grand.

13. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what do you think it would be?
I already did that?

14. What is your favorite occupation?
Pro poker player.

15. Who are your favorite writers?
Byron Fountain and anyone else who can come up with a GOOD scam.

16. Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Maverick.

17. Who are your heroes in real life?
Victor Lustig, the man who sold the Eiffel Tower.

18. What are your favorite names?
Secretariat and Seabiscuit - two of the best race horses ever.

19. What is your greatest regret?
That I got caught with my pants down. Literally.

20. How would you like to die?
Do you mean for real or in a scam?

21. What is your motto?
The winner takes it all, the looser standing small.

[shmeep]

Okay, you guys have inspired me. I only have about ten minutes to do this so wish me luck!


Lt. Gary Fisk

1. What is your current state of mind? Curmudgeony

2. What is your greatest fear? Singing in public.

3. What trait do you most deplore in yourself? I can be strangely intense at times.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others? Glory hounding.

5. What living person do you most admire? George W. Bush

6. Which living person do you most despise? Garrison Keillor

7. On what occasion do you lie? Whenever I get married.

8. What or who is the greatest love of your life? I'd have to go with sandwich. Just...sandwich.

9. When and where were you happiest? Eating at my desk next to a beautiful bouquet of freshly-cut flowers.

10. Which talent would you most like to have? Trapeze Artist.

11. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I wouldn't mind having a little more hair.

12. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Memorizing all the presidents in order.

13. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what do you think it would be? A giant red ball.

14. What is your favorite occupation? Nurse

15. Who are your favorite writers? Bill O'Reilly and Ann Coulter.

16. Who is your favorite hero of fiction? I don't read fiction so I'll go with James Madison. He only weighed 94 pounds. Any president so tiny has to have been made up.

17. Who are your heroes in real life? Alan Greenspan and Stephen Colbert.

18. What are your favorite names? John and Joan.

19. What is your greatest regret? I don't have one.

20. How would you like to die? Outside, surrounded by the wails of mourning women...

21. What is your motto? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

[Colorado girl]

Letia Berrera

1. What is your current state of mind? Like where am I? New York.

2. What is your greatest fear? that I will lose my son.

3. What trait do you most deplore in yourself? that I can't get a better lawyer or buy all the clothes in the store where I work.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others? people who act like they're on your side and then Lie!!

5. What living person do you most admire? My brother Mike. He always sticks up for me.

6. Which living person do you most despise? Ty. I don't know what I saw in him.

7. On what occasion do you lie? Um, I can't think of any time....

8. What or who is the greatest love of your life? My baby Hunter.

9. When and where were you happiest? When I had my baby

10. Which talent would you most like to have? I would like to be able to snag a rich man who is also nice.

11. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I can't think of anything.

12. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Having my baby.

13. If you werto die and come back as a person or a thing, what]do you think it would be? Janet Jackson (especially those boobs!)

14. What is your favorite occupation? clothing store clerk. That's all I've ever done.

15. Who are your favorite writers? The people who write soap operas. They are really good!

16. Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Is that real people? Probably my brother.

17. Who are your heroes in real life? Oh, real people. UM, my hairdresser and the little lady who does my nails. She's really good.

18. What are your favorite names? Hunter and Mike

19. What is your greatest regret? that I fell for that creep Ty.

20. How would you like to die? Oh I don't really think that way.

21. What is your motto? Be nice and find someone who can make you rich so you don't have to work so hard.

[hoosier]

Ty Largent

1. What is your current state of mind? Smug

2. What is your greatest fear? My son in the hands of the Berreras

3. What trait do you most deplore in yourself? the occasional lapse in judgment. I mean, what was I thinking when I hooked up with Letitia? I'm never that desperate!

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others? When someone can not follow simple orders. That and whining.

5. What living person do you most admire? My father. He made me what I am today.

6. Which living person do you most despise? There are two actually, Letitia and her brother Mike

7. On what occasion do you lie? To protect my son

8. What or who is the greatest love of your life? My son

9. When and where were you happiest? The day Hunter was born. Now if only Letitia hadn't had to be there...

10. Which talent would you most like to have? The ability to make certain people disappear from your life.


11. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Nothing

12. What do you consider your greatest achievement? My son Hunter. Oh, and there was that day I beat the Deputy Mayor at golf.

13. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what] A golf pro.

14. What is your favorite occupation? Being a dad.

15. Who are your favorite writers? Since I spent most of my free time with my son I would have to say Margaret Brown and Mercer Mayer.

16. Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Bagger Vance

17. Who are your heroes in real life? Lawyers

18. What are your favorite names? Hunter and Isabella

19. What is your greatest regret? That I won't be around to protect my son from the influence of the Berreras.

20. How would you like to die? Been there, done that. Wasn't pretty.

21. What is your motto? Keep your eye on the ball.

[hoosier]

Chase Eastman

1. What is your current state of mind? Confident

2. What is your greatest fear? That I might actually be related to the Postigliones if my sister goes through with this marriage.

3. What trait do you most deplore in yourself? Not being able to make myself look presentable in this uniform they force us to wear.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others? Sloppiness.

5. What living person do you most admire? That blind cop for standing up for his wife.

6. Which living person do you most despise? Tyler Mills. What a loser!

7. On what occasion do you lie? There are times when I might be less than forthcoming but I never lie.

8. What or who is the greatest love of your life? Right now, the platinum card by dad gave me when I turned 16.

9. When and where were you happiest? When the fight broke out at the engagement party. Too bad future brother-in-law didn't get his jaw broken.

10. Which talent would you most like to have? I'd like to learn some of those moves that cop used at the party especially that choke hold.

11. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I'd like to be taller.

12. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Sitting down to dinner with the Postigliones and not breaking out in a rash or something.

13. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what do you think it would be? An IRS agent. I would love to order an audit of the Postiglione holdings.

14. What is your favorite occupation? Lawyer

15. Who are your favorite writers? F. Scott Fitzgerald and Scott Turow.

16. Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Jay Gatsby.

17. Who are your heroes in real life? Lawyers.

18. What are your favorite names? Mallory and Charles

19. What is your greatest regret? Daring my sister to go on that date. I mean, I never thought she'd do it.

20. How would you like to die? After arguing and winning a case before the Supreme Court

21. What is your motto? Loose lips sink ships.