Embarrassing, but...

[shmeep]

Okay, I'm blatantly "borrowing" this idea from another website, but it really amused me and I bet this can spark some interesting discussion (or at least bring back some memories). Here are some things I used to believe as a child:

* When I was five, I thought that Bob Hope was president of the United States. It made sense because my grandma used to work for him and she gave me a button from a show he did that said "Hope for President" so when someone asked me who the president was, I said, "Bob Hope" in a "Duh!" voice. I got teased a lot for that.

* I thought the world was going to end in 1984. I think I got that from church and those horrible old Left Behind movies from the early 80's and because it seemed to be such a significant year. The book. The Oingo Boingo song. I used to hope and pray that the world could just stick around until 1987 so I could get my driver's licence first.

* I thought that all TV and radio was live and used to worry about poor Tootie on The Facts of Life because how could she ever get home fast enough to watch herself?

* I thought someone in a car was going to shoot me if I was out on a sidewalk at night. I guess I was weirded out by an episode of "Quincy" that involved a drive-by shooting. But I did live in L.A.

* I had no idea of how my parents could ever remember where they were going when we drove places and constantly worried that they would never find their way back home again.

* My cousin told me that when a cat is showing it's canine teeth, it's really pissed and ready to bite...even if it seems to be sleeping.

* My best friend believed that she had to be ready at all times because the Monkees would probably be coming to town (even though we were watching re-runs in the late 70's) so she and I used to kneel on her couch in the living room and stare out the window at the street waiting for them.

* This same friend used to save a seat for Christopher Reeve every time we went to see a "Superman" movie because she heard that he sometimes went to his own movies and she wanted to be sure he sat by her.

* I used to wish for red hair like Anne of Green Gables and would sit in the bathroom with only the heater light on so my blond hair would look red. Later, when I dyed it, everyone started telling me I looked like Bette Middler so I quickly dyed it back. Yikes.

* When I was in preschool I didn't understand the concept of pierced ears because my mom didn't have them so I thought that if I took one of those pop beads and stuck it in my ear, it would look like it was stuck in the middle of my earlobe like my preschool teacher Betty's earrings.

* I thought my grandma was 100 years old. (I think she was in her fifties at the time.)

* I thought someone was fabulously rich if they earned $100 a year so I bragged to everyone that that was what my dad made.

[housemouse]

First, love the avatar!

Here are some things I used to believe:

1. That my grandmother used took showers in her "wash and wear" pant suit.

2. My brother once told me a person could get a ticket for driving without a shirt.

3. The same brother told me the boy who played the youngest kid on The Partridge Family was named Brain, for the longest time I wondered what kind parents would name their kid Brain.

I know there are a lot more, but those were off the top of my head! Great thread Shmeep!

[maggiethecat]

I have believed many silly things over the years and said many silly things, too. Here's what I actually said one day when I friend and I were discussing Yankees baseball. And he never stops teasing me about it.

"What was the name of that ballplayer?," I said, snapping my fingers. "You know, he was really famous. Gary Cooper played him in the movie, he died of Lou Gehrig's Disease-- Oh. Yeah. Lou Gehrig."

Can you say DUH?

And yes, when I was a kid I did believe that electricity leaked out of wall sockets, which was why you weren't supposed to get your little fingers anywhere near them.

I also believed that if you swallowed your gum it stayed in your stomach for nine years (why nine?), so we all have this sort of ever-replenishing intestinal gum ball. I date this one from around fourth grade.

[housemouse]

maggiethecat said:

I also believed that if you swallowed your gum it stayed in your stomach for nine years (why nine?), so we all have this sort of ever-replenishing intestinal gum ball. I date this one from around fourth grade.

Or how about that old chestnut - "don't swallow watermelon seeds or a watermelon will grow in your stomach"? I spent most of my formative years avoiding watermelon like the plague!

[doobrah]

When I was little, like 3, and my family lived in an apartment, a man named Lloyd cut the grass at the complex. Now Lloyd lived in an apartment just around the corner from us in a tiny little studio. For some reason I asked why, and my mother said, "Oh Lloyd, he's a bachelor," explaining that he was single and did not have a wife.

Fast forward several months. We were visiting a family friend, who also lived in an apartment. On the way over, my mother mentioned that he was a bachelor, blah blah blah.

So I said, "Does he cut the grass too?"

In my pea brain, I had associated that all bachelors cut the grass at their apartment complex.

Now if I could just find a bachelor to cut my grass. ;D

[shmeep]

I used to wonder why people who don't drink don't die of dehydration.

[housemouse]

I used to think the line in Benny and Jets went "she's got electric boobs, and her mom has too."

My sister used to think "wasting away again in Margaritaville" was "wasting away in my gorilla suit.

As a little Catholic girl I always pictured purgatory as a giant doctor's waiting room.

[doobrah]

I used to believe that couples in movies didn't wear pajamas because they couldn't afford them.

[shmeep]

Wow! I started to quote some of these to show how funny I thought they were but then realized there would be too many. I laughed out loud several times while reading this. Thank you for the entertainment!!

Here are a couple more:

* I stopped believing in Santa and the others at a young age but was convinced the Tooth Fairy was quite real for a few more years because I saw her/it tip-toeing across my room during a particularly weird waking dream one night after losing a tooth. It looked like a big transparent Pinocchio for some reason so I told all my friends that was the Tooth Fairy's disguise.

* My cousin tried to convince me that I was a boy but that my parents were so desperate for a girl that they had lied to me all my life and dressed me as a girl. I was too modest to prove her wrong.

* I used to think my mom knew a kid who had died from falling down a well and I told all my friends about it in quite a dramatic fashion with lots of enhancements. Turned out I had mixed up a sad news event that had happened when my mom was a child with the Little House on the Prairie episode when Carrie fell down the well and turned it into some kind of weird reality.

* My brother Randy used to think he got his red hair from the dog, who was about the same color.

[verorl]

- When I was little, a cleaning lady my mom had told me that cats had the devil in their tails, that is why the tail was always moving, even if the cat was asleep. For a lot of years, I always associated cats with the devil and stayed away from them.

- I used to think the blinking directional lights in cars actually told the driver where to go. I failed to notice for a lot of years that my mom or dad actually turned the little lever to turn them on.

- I used to believe priests and nuns had automatic access to heaven when they died. This lie was actually fed to us by the nuns at Catholic school. For a lot of years, I actually thought I was going straight into hell, until I grew old enough to realize there is more to life than heaven and hell. (I'll probably go to hell, but at least I'm having fun now )

[housemouse]

verorl said:

- I used to believe priests and nuns had automatic access to heaven when they died. This lie was actually fed to us by the nuns at Catholic school. For a lot of years, I actually thought I was going straight into hell, until I grew old enough to realize there is more to life than heaven and hell. (I'll probably go to hell, but at least I'm having fun now )

Ahhh, another Catholic girl like me! I didn't go to Catholic schools, but CCD was enough to drill these things in my head. My brothers firmly believed that, how can I put this delicately, that certain behaviors would render them blind and or cause them to grow hair on their palms. All you Catholics know exactly what behavior I am talking about. I was always so glad I wasn't a boy so I didn't need to bother with such things.

[verorl]

housemouse said:

verorl said:

- I used to believe priests and nuns had automatic access to heaven when they died. This lie was actually fed to us by the nuns at Catholic school. For a lot of years, I actually thought I was going straight into hell, until I grew old enough to realize there is more to life than heaven and hell. (I'll probably go to hell, but at least I'm having fun now )

Ahhh, another Catholic girl like me! I didn't go to Catholic schools, but CCD was enough to drill these things in my head. My brothers firmly believed that, how can I put this delicately, that certain behaviors would render them blind and or cause them to grow hair on their palms. All you Catholics know exactly what behavior I am talking about. I was always so glad I wasn't a boy so I didn't need to bother with such things.

Yup! I went to Catholic school from Kindergarten to High School, so I had plenty of good 'ol Catholic Guilt. I think I OD'd and had all the religion I could take in school, because I haven't been to church in more than 15 years. I hate those nuns for ruining it for me, but oh well. And of course I know which behavior you are talking about.

[awlrite4now]

housemouse said:

verorl said:

- I used to believe priests and nuns had automatic access to heaven when they died. This lie was actually fed to us by the nuns at Catholic school. For a lot of years, I actually thought I was going straight into hell, until I grew old enough to realize there is more to life than heaven and hell. (I'll probably go to hell, but at least I'm having fun now )

Ahhh, another Catholic girl like me! I didn't go to Catholic schools, but CCD was enough to drill these things in my head. My brothers firmly believed that, how can I put this delicately, that certain behaviors would render them blind and or cause them to grow hair on their palms. All you Catholics know exactly what behavior I am talking about. I was always so glad I wasn't a boy so I didn't need to bother with such things.

Wonder what fable they tell the blind boys?

[verorl]

awlrite4now said:

housemouse said:

Ahhh, another Catholic girl like me! I didn't go to Catholic schools, but CCD was enough to drill these things in my head. My brothers firmly believed that, how can I put this delicately, that certain behaviors would render them blind and or cause them to grow hair on their palms. All you Catholics know exactly what behavior I am talking about. I was always so glad I wasn't a boy so I didn't need to bother with such things.

Wonder what fable they tell the blind boys?

I'm sure they made something up. They always seemed to have an answer for everything.

[housemouse]

awlrite4now said:

Wonder what fable they tell the blind boys?

What a great question, I never thought of that before!