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Post by shmeep on Nov 30, 2005 15:40:16 GMT -5
So...things are getting a little crowded over at the Survival Game so I thought that as deaths pile up (and we are a wordy bunch, aren't we?) we might want to just start putting the details over in this thread. Agreed?
From now on, when you kill someone, just put the death over here so they're not all repeated in each post. Here are the deaths so far:
1- Letitia Barreras: Method of demise: Fisk, forgetting for a moment that Jim is blind asks if he will move his car as he has blocked someone in. Jim, not wanting to disobey an order, and thinking how hard can it be-ten feet forward and five feet in until you feel the curb, starts the car. "Crash", right through the window of the dress shop, and right over Letitia. Then Jim gets out of the car "Did I get anyone?"
2- Glen Semple: I think the best way for him to go is starve him to death. Hit him where it hurts.
3-Warren Doyle: Mouse: A raging mob of adolescent boys will beat the crap out of him, taunt him, then defenestrate him.
4) Detective Terry Jansen: Terry and his new partner Newbie (the one who replaced Glen after he starved to death) are called to a bank. There's a gunman firing an automatic weapon and two of the first responders are down. Terry and Newbie fire back, but can't seem to hit him. Newbie runs for cover behind the corner of the bank. The gunman is out of ammo. Terry's weapon jams. He yells "Newbie, he's empty. Take the shot. Take the shot, Newbie." Newbie has frozen. Terry walks over to him to get his gun, but it's too late. The gunman has reloaded and shoots them both. Bye-bye, Terry.
5) Ty Largent: Ty stops at a kiosk at the corner of Hester and Bowery for a cup of coffee. He waits for his change (ahem). As he steps off the curb a "bus" answering a call by Jim Dunbar to the Korean Grocery Store hits Ty. The cup of coffee flies through the air and hits the sidewalk in the same place that only minutes before another cup hit. Rich, in the kiosk says "What are the chances of that?" Morale of the story - Be a good tipper because if he had not waited for his change he would have crossed in time.
6) Lloyd Crider: After being abusive to his wife, women from an alternative shelter for battered and abused women come together and scream at him while pelting him with cans of vegetables. Since Jake should be shielded from such acts for retribution, Lloyd is also pelted with children's toys, heavy stuff like Tonka trucks. When Lloyd is just about to the level of unconsciousness, he is then placed in garbage bags and buried in a very shallow grave, with just enough oxygen for him to be aware he will be slowly suffocating, while male dogs from all over the neighborhood mark the grave with their pee pee and doo doo.
7) Nick Dyson: Figuring he needs a cop girlfriend to take pity on him, Nick starts reciting "How do I love thee, let me count the ways" to Anne Donnelly, who takes out her gun and shoots him. Karen, walking by, turns to Jim and says, "See, I told you, women shoot guys all the time."
8) Clay Simmons: Having learned his lesson from the dinner party, he stops talking in whispers in front of the other editors. Someone ends up feeling left out and pushes him off his balcony as he's slurping his pinot.
9) Marybeth's lawyer tells her that if she turns herself in, he can get her Man Two instead of Murder Two. So Marybeth agrees. She lays out her best poison green outfit and draws a bath -- a girl's gotta look her best in court, right? She's having a lovely soak in the very tub where she killed her husband, humming (off-key) to a light jazz station . . . when her foot knocks the radio into the tub. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzap!
10) Stricken with laryngitis and unable to speak, Randy Lyman was playing with the kids next door. They buried him in the sand box, then left to go have dinner at Lena’s in Brooklyn, leaving Mr. Lyman pretty tied up. Seeing a prostitute walking by the park, Mr. Lyman was stricken with the urge to cut her into tiny pieces and struggled to get out of the sandbox, to no avail. Sand collapsed in on him, and after struggling all. day. long. he finally succumbed to his unfulfilled need and suffocated. His body was never recovered. (Yes, it was a big sandbox.)
11. Joan has decided that she needs to involve herself in Jerry's life a little more - he can't be staying at seedy motels near the track without her. She accompanies him to Aquaduct where he places a very sizeable bet on the ponies - DoppleGanger to win in the 8th. Joan, not realizing that the race is about to start, takes a short cut across the track so she can watch from the inside rail and is trampled to death by the charging horses. As for Jerry, he lost everything -- because Doppleganger wasn't actually in the race - they were running a body double!
12 Eric Fitzgerald- As Tom and Marty are taking him to Central Booking, his bad cologne is smelling up the whole squad car. Marty stops and opens the back door to air out the car, and Eric jumps out on the street side, where he is hit by an uptown bus, and his body is deposited at 52nd Street. That's what he gets for calling Jim "a bad-ass cop?"
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Post by mlm828 on Nov 30, 2005 16:15:37 GMT -5
Here's the next one:
13) Leonard Mattis -- After he is transferred to Attica, the guy who "runs the tier" there does to him what he did to Marlon Condell. Then he dies of hypothermia, because he didn't "bring a parka upstate."
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Post by Duchess of Lashes on Dec 2, 2005 19:54:49 GMT -5
And #15 - Debbie Diamant:
Debbie, thinking that perhaps Bud's baseball bat could be put to better use than a murder weapon, cleans it up and takes it to the field for a little game of pick me up softball with some of Bud's old drug dealing friends. Little does she know that one of them has hidden a stash inside the softballs! First pitch, over the plate, a perfect ball, a real beauty, she swings mightily and slams it for what should be a homerun! But the ball explodes, sending a kilo of coke in the air! Breathing deeply after the exertion of that swing, she inhales a massive overdose, dying on the spot!
This, Bud, is for you!
LongLashes
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Post by housemouse on Dec 2, 2005 20:05:58 GMT -5
Adios Todd: During one his afternoon forays into the Tuxhorn apartment Todd decides to use the good silver and good china to have a tea party for himself. He sets a lovely formal table and proceeds to the kitchen to boil water for tea and make some finger sandwiches. As he is boiling the water he touches the kettle and burns his finger. He runs his finger under cool water to sooth the burn but he cannot get the water turned off. He tries and tries to turn the water off but it is useless, pretty soon the kitchen floods. He figures he better get out of there before the water drips into the apartment downstairs, but before he goes he stops at the refrigerator to get butter to put on his burn. He reaches in for the butter but drops it on the floor. He slips in the butter and lands face first in the flood he has caused in the kitchen. Hours later the downstairs neighbor goes searching for the reason for his flooded kitchen and finds Mr. Moncrief who has drown, with his burnt finger still in the butter.
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Post by maggiethecat on Dec 2, 2005 20:35:28 GMT -5
Debbie, thinking that perhaps Bud's baseball bat could be put to better use than a murder weapon, cleans it up and takes it to the field for a little game of pick me up softball with some of Bud's old drug dealing friends. Little does she know that one of them has hidden a stash inside the softballs! First pitch, over the plate, a perfect ball, a real beauty, she swings mightily and slams it for what should be a homerun! But the ball explodes, sending a kilo of coke in the air! Breathing deeply after the exertion of that swing, she inhales a massive overdose, dying on the spot! Better than winding up under a bus!  |
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Post by maggiethecat on Dec 2, 2005 20:37:56 GMT -5
He sets a lovely formal table and proceeds to the kitchen to boil water for tea and make some finger sandwiches. The very notion of this lowlife lunatic making finger sandwiches? Toooooo funny for words! |
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Post by Duchess of Lashes on Dec 3, 2005 7:03:51 GMT -5
And here is #16 as done in by our resident Serial Murderer, Rducasey (she also of the killer sense of humor):
The Chief heard through the grape vine, weeks after Jim had given up the gun, that he previously lost the gun. "Why didn't I know about that? I owe him an ass kicking" He arrives at the Eighth and finds the elevator being repaired so he hurries up the stairs and yells "Dunbar!". He is told by Karen that Jim has taken Hank outside. He asks her if Jim has a walkie- talkie with him and Karen says "yes". "Tell him to stay where he is. I am on my way down". Forgetting that the elevator is being repaired and there is only an open shaft, he steps into the elevator and plunges all the way to the basement. "Jim" says Karen, "The Chief is on his way down. Over and OUT." "Copy" says Jim
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Post by Duchess of Lashes on Dec 4, 2005 10:25:47 GMT -5
17) Marlon Condell
After deciding that he needed a whole new outlook on life, Marlon ditched the ski mask, joined The Hair Club for Men, nominated himself for an episode of What Not to Wear, renewed that seldom-used gym membership, enlisted the services of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and feeling a little more confident about things, bought not one, but two admission tickets to Graceland.
Brimming with that new found confidence and with those Graceland tickets about to expire, he decided to attempt to impress the cute little blond working out at the next weight station. Unfortunately for Marlon, what he really needed was a prolonged bout with Fitness Made Simple, not an accelerated program of Weight Training with Arnold! Lifting the 90 pound bar above his head, he turned to smile at her, his elbows gave way and well, he did manage to leave a deep and lasting impression! So did the bar!
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Post by inuvik on Dec 4, 2005 16:53:17 GMT -5
18) Alison Crider
I have a lot of sympathy for her, but I'll try. Alison and a friend are out grocery shopping. Her friend's cart has a wonky wheel and she accidentaly rams Alison in the back of her legs. Alison is falling to the ground, pulling her cart loaded with groceries on her, and there is no clerk to throw toilet paper under her to cushion her fall. So she falls, her groceries land on her, and she drowns in the milk carton as it breaks on her face.
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Post by shmeep on Dec 7, 2005 12:59:46 GMT -5
Here is the complete Death List to date:
1) Letitia Berraras - Method of demise: Fisk, forgetting for a moment that Jim is blind asks if he will move his car as he has blocked someone in. Jim, not wanting to disobey an order, and thinking how hard can it be-ten feet forward and five feet in until you feel the curb, starts the car. "Crash", right through the window of the dress shop, and right over Letitia. Then Jim gets out of the car "Did I get anyone?"
2) Glen Semple - I think the best way for him to go is starve him to death. Hit him where it hurts.
3) Warren Doyle - A raging mob of adolescent boys will beat the crap out of him, taunt him, then defenestrate him.
4) Detective Terry Jansen - Terry and his new partner Newbie (the one who replaced Glen after he starved to death) are called to a bank. There's a gunman firing an automatic weapon and two of the first responders are down. Terry and Newbie fire back, but can't seem to hit him. Newbie runs for cover behind the corner of the bank. The gunman is out of ammo. Terry's weapon jams. He yells "Newbie, he's empty. Take the shot. Take the shot, Newbie." Newbie has frozen. Terry walks over to him to get his gun, but it's too late. The gunman has reloaded and shoots them both. Bye-bye, Terry.
5) Ty Largent - Ty stops at a kiosk at the corner of Hester and Bowery for a cup of coffee. He waits for his change (ahem). As he steps off the curb a "bus" answering a call by Jim Dunbar to the Korean Grocery Store hits Ty. The cup of coffee flies through the air and hits the sidewalk in the same place that only minutes before another cup hit. Rich, in the kiosk says "What are the chances of that?" Morale of the story - Be a good tipper because if he had not waited for his change he would have crossed in time.
6)Lloyd Crider - After being abusive to his wife, women from an alternative shelter for battered and abused women come together and scream at him while pelting him with cans of vegetables. Since Jake should be shielded from such acts for retribution, Lloyd is also pelted with children's toys, heavy stuff like Tonka trucks. When Lloyd is just about to the level of unconsciousness, he is then placed in garbage bags and buried in a very shallow grave, with just enough oxygen for him to be aware he will be slowly suffocating, while male dogs from all over the neighborhood mark the grave with their pee pee and doo doo.
7)Nick Dyson - Figuring he needs a cop girlfriend to take pity on him, Nick starts reciting "How do I love thee, let me count the ways" to Anne Donnelly, who takes out her gun and shoots him. Karen, walking by, turns to Jim and says, "See, I told you, women shoot guys all the time."
8) Clay Simmons - Having learned his lesson from the dinner party, he stops talking in whispers in front of the other editors. Someone ends up feeling left out and pushes him off his balcony as he's slurping his pinot.
9)Marybeth Desmond - Marybeth's lawyer tells her that if she turns herself in, he can get her Man Two instead of Murder Two. So Marybeth agrees. She lays out her best poison green outfit and draws a bath -- a girl's gotta look her best in court, right? She's having a lovely soak in the very tub where she killed her husband, humming (off-key) to a light jazz station . . . when her foot knocks the radio into the tub. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzap!
10)Randy Lyman - Stricken with laryngitis and unable to speak, Randy Lyman was playing with the kids next door. They buried him in the sand box, then left to go have dinner at Lena’s in Brooklyn, leaving Mr. Lyman pretty tied up. Seeing a prostitute walking by the park, Mr. Lyman was stricken with the urge to cut her into tiny pieces and struggled to get out of the sandbox, to no avail. Sand collapsed in on him, and after struggling all. day. long. he finally succumbed to his unfulfilled need and suffocated. His body was never recovered. (Yes, it was a big sandbox.)
11)Joan Tuxhorn - Joan has decided that she needs to involve herself in Jerry's life a little more - he can't be staying at seedy motels near the track without her. She accompanies him to Aquaduct where he places a very sizeable bet on the ponies - DoppleGanger to win in the 8th. Joan, not realizing that the race is about to start, takes a short cut across the track so she can watch from the inside rail and is trampled to death by the charging horses. As for Jerry, he lost everything -- because Doppleganger wasn't actually in the race - they were running a body double!
12) Eric Fitzgerald - As Tom and Marty are taking him to Central Booking, his bad cologne is smelling up the whole squad car. Marty stops and opens the back door to air out the car, and Eric jumps out on the street side, where he is hit by an uptown bus, and his body is deposited at 52nd Street. That's what he gets for calling Jim "a bad-ass cop?"
13)Leonard Mattis - After he is transferred to Attica, the guy who "runs the tier" there does to him what he did to Marlon Condell. Then he dies of hypothermia, because he didn't "bring a parka upstate."
14)Todd Montcrief - During one his afternoon forays into the Tuxhorn apartment Todd decides to use the good silver and good china to have a tea party for himself. He sets a lovely formal table and proceeds to the kitchen to boil water for tea and make some finger sandwiches. As he is boiling the water he touches the kettle and burns his finger. He runs his finger under cool water to sooth the burn but he cannot get the water turned off. He tries and tries to turn the water off but it is useless, pretty soon the kitchen floods. He figures he better get out of there before the water drips into the apartment downstairs, but before he goes he stops at the refrigerator to get butter to put on his burn. He reaches in for the butter but drops it on the floor. He slips in the butter and lands face first in the flood he has caused in the kitchen. Hours later the downstairs neighbor goes searching for the reason for his flooded kitchen and finds Mr. Moncrief who has drown, with his burnt finger still in the butter.
15)Debbie Diament - Debbie, thinking that perhaps Bud's baseball bat could be put to better use than a murder weapon, cleans it up and takes it to the field for a little game of pick me up softball with some of Bud's old drug dealing friends. Little does she know that one of them has hidden a stash inside the softballs! First pitch, over the plate, a perfect ball, a real beauty, she swings mightily and slams it for what should be a homerun! But the ball explodes, sending a kilo of coke in the air! Breathing deeply after the exertion of that swing, she inhales a massive overdose, dying on the spot! This, Bud, is for you!
16) Chief Tunney - The Chief heard through the grape vine, weeks after Jim had given up the gun, that he previously lost the gun. "Why didn't I know about that? I owe him an ass kicking" He arrives at the Eighth and finds the elevator being repaired so he hurries up the stairs and yells "Dunbar!". He is told by Karen that Jim has taken Hank outside. He asks her if Jim has a walkie- talkie with him and Karen says "yes". "Tell him to stay where he is. I am on my way down". Forgetting that the elevator is being repaired and there is only an open shaft, he steps into the elevator and plunges all the way to the basement. "Jim" says Karen, "The Chief is on his way down. Over and OUT." "Copy" says Jim
17) Marlon Condell - After deciding that he needed a whole new outlook on life, Marlon ditched the ski mask, joined The Hair Club for Men, nominated himself for an episode of What Not to Wear, renewed that seldom-used gym membership, enlisted the services of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and feeling a little more confident about things, bought not one, but two admission tickets to Graceland. Brimming with that new found confidence and with those Graceland tickets about to expire, he decided to attempt to impress the cute little blond working out at the next weight station. Unfortunately for Marlon, what he really needed was a prolonged bout with Fitness Made Simple, not an accelerated program of Weight Training with Arnold! Lifting the 90 pound bar above his head, he turned to smile at her, his elbows gave way and well, he did manage to leave a deep and lasting impression! So did the bar!
18) Alison Crider - I have a lot of sympathy for her, but I'll try. Alison and a friend are out grocery shopping. Her friend's cart has a wonky wheel and she accidentaly rams Alison in the back of her legs. Alison is falling to the ground, pulling her cart loaded with groceries on her, and there is no clerk to throw toilet paper under her to cushion her fall. So she falls, her groceries land on her, and she drowns in the milk carton as it breaks on her face.
19) Sonny Famigletti - Sonny involves himself again with the "Puerto Rican gentlemens" and once again finds himself hiding in a dumpster for six hours. Well, Sonny, six hours is really too long to hide in a dumpster. The dumpster (with Sonny in it) is emptied and carted off to the Staten Island Land Fill. Sonny dies in the compactor.
20) Rory Glann - The new Rory, working 8-5 for the gas company, receives a call on his first day on the job from his boss to report to the Russian Embassy building down near the UN. There is a report of a gas leak. On entering the lobby, he is met by the receptionist, Nadia.
"Oh, I love a man in uniform" she says. "Hey, don't I know you?" says Rory. "Ever been to Coldhammers on Times Square?" "Never mind that " she replies, "We seem to have a gas leak downstairs, come with me." On the way down the stairs, Rory notices the power is out. "Not to worry, he says to Nadia, I will just flick my bic...." At this moment a call comes over his radio from his boss......"Remember Rory, rule #1 never strike a match with a gas leak........" "KABOOM". Or as they say in Russia "KABOOM". (RIP: Rory Glann, Nadia, and half the employees of the Russian Embassy.)
21) Johnny Currea: Johnny was killed in a freak tattooing incident that began when he realized the tattoo he was getting in honor of his girlfriend "Louise" had been misspelled, leaving him with the name "Lois" etched across his chest. He died of a lethal combination of shock and ink poisoning.
22) Bo "midnight" Matherson - Bo is on the way to the airport to take that flight to Germany when the cab he is in gets stuck in traffic. He decides to get out and run to the airport. Pete Steckle had a little too much wheatgrass juice that night and borrows a car from Dean's Car service. Just as he is backing out of the car garage, Bo runs by and OOPS! Bye Bye Bo!
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Post by inuvik on Dec 22, 2005 11:28:38 GMT -5
28) Pete Steckle
After getting his night job, Pete really changes his life and turns over a new leaf. He now recognizes the importance of a clean home to mind and body. So he goes to buy lots of cleaning products. He speaks to a clerk and asks for advice, being pretty novice at this as we know. The clerk directs him to some nice smelling lemon and pine cleaners. Pete can't see the bottles but loves the smells so he buys them. Unbeknownst to him, the products are very corrosive (can't see the hand dissolving icon) and the clerk doesn't tell him. When he gets home, Pete decides to start with the tub. He doesn't know how much to use, but figures he needs lots from the smell so dumps the whole bottle in the tub. He gets in the tub to start on the shower walls, slips, and falls in. All the cleaner dissolves through his clothes and eats him away. His last thought: "Cleanliness really is next to godliness!"
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Post by inuvik on Dec 31, 2005 13:37:11 GMT -5
30) Walter Clark.
While fishing in Ketichan, Alaska, Walter finally hooks the "big one". Unfortunately, it is too big--it pulls him around and around, and Walter eventually gets too tired. At that point the fish pulls really hard, the boat swamps and goes under, and Walter drowns. He is saddened that he will never get to tell the story of the one that got away.
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