Tickers

[maggiethecat]

Well said, one and all! And thanks, Shmeep, for bringing up the previous board and She Whose Name Must Not Be Mentioned, which put it nicely in perspective for me.

AS far as I can tell, we don't much agree about anything on this board, whether it's politics, television viewing habits, what to fix for dinner, or whether a certain NYPD detective should have taken up ballroom dancing. We've been doing it for almost a year (!), we've gotten damned good at it, and, in the end, we always agree to disagree. Why? Because we have a genuine fondness for each other and are amused and entertained by each other's foibles and peccadillos . . . sort of the way you put up with wacky relatives.

Personally? I wouldn't have it any other way.

Vive la difference!

[housemouse]

admin said:

admin said:

Actually, we're both hoping for girls but will be thrilled with whatever we get. Kenina liked the blue--hoping it would somehow end up meaning it will be a girl after all--and I did pink so we wouldn't have the same one. Once we know the genders, adjustments may need to be made.

All right you two, I have no issue whatsoever with those tickers, but I am little bothered by all this talk of little girls! Boys are fabulous! They are too cute for words, full of energy, they take care of their mothers, and best of all, I won't have to pay for any weddings! I hope you are both blessed with at least three of them!

[Forensic Paws]

But but you can get cooler clothes for liddle girls!!! With the bows and the pinks and the fluffies. And it doesn't really matter if you stick a girl in boy's clothes wheras it's a disaster to put a boy in pink and fuzzy!
The only babies I've ever been even remotely involved in (remotely involved means sending Xmas and birthday presents and very rarely if ever seeing them ) have been my aunts 3 young sons. I was most upset when she kept having boys as I wanted to buy the really cute girly clothes! The least she could have done was for her last kid to be a girl. I mean really.

[shmeep]

Sorry, Mouse! I agree that boys are great and I'm not into pink or frilly things. As the only girl out of four children, I got fed up with pink at a pretty early age (Mom overdid it a bit) and only came to be able to wear it again in recent years. I just think that, since I have three brothers and two nephews and a niece on my side and Mr. Shmeep has two brothers and three nephews, both sides are in serious need of a little girl. It will be a nice change. But I adore little boys so I'm cool with it either way.

[shmeep]

maggiethecat said:

Well said, one and all! And thanks, Shmeep, for bringing up the previous board and She Whose Name Must Not Be Mentioned, which put it nicely in perspective for me.

AS far as I can tell, we don't much agree about anything on this board, whether it's politics, television viewing habits, what to fix for dinner, or whether a certain NYPD detective should have taken up ballroom dancing. We've been doing it for almost a year (!), we've gotten damned good at it, and, in the end, we always agree to disagree. Why? Because we have a genuine fondness for each other and are amused and entertained by each other's foibles and peccadillos . . . sort of the way you put up with wacky relatives.

Personally? I wouldn't have it any other way.

Vive la difference!

Mags? I love this post. That's what it's all about. I especially like the crack comparing us to wacky relatives. Very cool. Thanks for the good dose of perspective.

[kytdunne]

kenina said:

I agree, everyone has the right to his/her opinion. I also believe that in expressing opinions, one should consider the feelings of others, and how you express it is as important as what you're expressing. I think since this particular opinion applied to only Shmeep and me, a private message or email might have been more...tactful, I suppose is the word. Since it's public, though, we'll work through it as a group.

Right. Everyone's entitled to his or her opinion. I thought GB expressed herself very well and non-offensively, but this may be a case where any opinion to the contrary is going to be viewed as tactless by those who differ.

Since the siglines were apparently planned in conjunction and are fully public every time the poster posts, a public request seems the obvious way to respond.

kenina said:

I can only speak for myself that it absolutely never crossed my mind that a drawing of a developing human being would be offensive or creepy--or frightening (?).... I hope that line isn't my pregnancy ticker. Other thoughts?

Other thoughts? Sure. One is that it's a given that someone will be of a differing opinion, so not having considered it does not make it non-existent.

And the other is that certain types of siglines are more anticipated/expected within specific communities. Fetus siglines aren't what I anticipated on this board. I don't find the fetus drawings charming, endearing, or otherwise visually appealing.

But to each her own.

Kyt

[housemouse]

Warning, off topic rambling ahead:

forensicpaws said:

But but you can get cooler clothes for liddle girls!!! With the bows and the pinks and the fluffies. And it doesn't really matter if you stick a girl in boy's clothes wheras it's a disaster to put a boy in pink and fuzzy!
The only babies I've ever been even remotely involved in (remotely involved means sending Xmas and birthday presents and very rarely if ever seeing them ) have been my aunts 3 young sons. I was most upset when she kept having boys as I wanted to buy the really cute girly clothes! The least she could have done was for her last kid to be a girl. I mean really.

After dressing three boys for the past seven and half years, I have come to a conclusion. I can wear all the frilly pink stuff. I don't have to buy it for a daughter, I can buy it for me! You should just see me walking around with pink ruffled socks and flowery sneakers, I am the picture of cuteness. OK, maybe not, but when I do have to urge to buy really girly stuff, I just find something for myself.

I am destined to spend the next couple years looking at clothes featuring, trains, tools, race cars, skateboards and soccer balls, I have resigned myself to this fact!

[kenina]

kytdunne said:

Right. Everyone's entitled to his or her opinion. I thought GB expressed herself very well and non-offensively, but this may be a case where any opinion to the contrary is going to be viewed as tactless by those who differ.

Since the siglines were apparently planned in conjunction and are fully public every time the poster posts, a public request seems the obvious way to respond.

I disagree. I don't think any differing opinion expressed tactfully should ever be viewed as tactless...for lack of a better way to say it. The subjective judgment of tact is idetermined by the expression of the opinion, not by the content of the opinion itself. Trying to connect the two is--sorry to be trite--comparing apples and oranges.

And I don't know about the public vs. private. Every post on the board is public, true--but trying to put myself in that position, I can't imagine that if I had a problem with someone personally--not that I just disagreed with what they said, since as Maggie pointed out, that's kind of the point on this board--that I would discuss that problem *on* the board. Seems more judicious--and frankly, kind--to do it behind closed doors. The best analogy I can think of is when a manager has to criticize a subordinate--a good manager never does it in public, even if the employee has been publicly rude or whatever.

[bjobsessed]

I'm sure it was not GB's intention to offend anyone.

She was simply expressing her opinion which is what I have always felt free to do here. Whether you agree with the way she expressed it is also up to each individual. The tickers don't bother me, but I respect the fact that they bother her just as I have always respected the many different opinions that are expressed here everyday.

I love the fact that we can experience things together, express our opinions, make mistakes, and yet still find love and forgiveness with each other. Although some of us have become real friends and many of us have had the pleasure of meeting each other, some will never have that experience. I think it is a wonderful thing that a small group of people who began as strangers from different parts of the world can develop into some kind of family and share the bonds that we do.

If this is a bump in the road that all families experience--and it seems like it might be--then let's make sure we work through it.

[kytdunne]

kenina said:

I disagree. I don't think any differing opinion expressed tactfully should ever be viewed as tactless...for lack of a better way to say it. The subjective judgment of tact is idetermined by the expression of the opinion, not by the content of the opinion itself. Trying to connect the two is--sorry to be trite--comparing apples and oranges.

Okay on "The subjective judgement of tact is determined by the expression of the opinion." When that judgement is entangled in emotional attachment to the opinion, it may be nearly impossible to be 'tactful' in the recipient's view, whereas others may view the opposition's expression as tactful.

Tact is nothing more than trying to tiptoe around someone else's feelings. Sometimes, you just can't tiptoe lightly enough.

kenina said:

And I don't know about the public vs. private. Every post on the board is public, true--but trying to put myself in that position, I can't imagine that if I had a problem with someone personally--not that I just disagreed with what they said, since as Maggie pointed out, that's kind of the point on this board--that I would discuss that problem *on* the board. Seems more judicious--and frankly, kind--to do it behind closed doors. The best analogy I can think of is when a manager has to criticize a subordinate--a good manager never does it in public, even if the employee has been publicly rude or whatever.

I don't see it as anything more than a difference of opinion in artwork, similar to differences in opinions of television shows, or specific episodes. Or scenes. No personal-problem involved.

The comparison of manager vs. employee is misleading since it implies an uneven balance of power. Well, that, or you're not both simply members of the board.

Having had close familiarity with private retaliation for public actions and how nicely those actions were buried under the guise of 'all's well,' I have no problem with a public response to a public post.

Kyt

[greenbeing]

Here is my public reply to the scandal I caused with my public post.

The reason I did not approach in private was because this is not a "personal" attack in any way, shape, or form. Anyone on this board could (except Carl...) become blessed at any time. This was something we all see and deal with every day. Some people are meant to be mothers, some choose not to become so. My question had nothing to do with that right.

I put it under the Phobias thread because I found that the least offensive place. I am not really phobic, but the pictures are bright, not easily passed over, and they're all over the place. I do find them creepy, exhuberant, and neon. There are rules about where to post everything on this board, a place for everything and everything in its place. I find it great that you two have found a way to count the days, because this is probably the happiest moment in your lives. If these were the actual ultrasound pictures, which I do not find all that creepy, they would be posted in the Real Expectations thread. But I find it amazing that everyone took such great offense to the fact that I find drawings of things that are not even your own children to be less than beautiful. You can find them beautiful; I do not; I have also said nothing about your own child, but about a squiggly representation of a generic baby. My question was, is there a way to continue the countdown without the pics?

It seems the consensus is I should ban myself from the board. Yay for popular opinion.

I worked many years in a hospital. Has it never occured to anyone that some people might find pictures of unborn babies less than good memories, because they have lost a baby? Or because it reminds them of something less happy? I see this same picture on abortion posters all the time. It's unsettling.

I made a joke out of my post. Obviously the wrong thing to do. And my post today is colored by the... irate?... responses. I'm glad you all feel safe enough to say what you think. I think you deserve that right. I apologize for the poorly placed pun which got so many people up in arms, but I will not apologize for my opinion.

I asked. I did not demand it be changed. I tried to use as much tact, to be as open and public about this as I could. There was nothing sinister or personal about it.

--GB

[greenbeing]

kytdunne said:

When that judgement is entangled in emotional attachment to the opinion, it may be nearly impossible to be 'tactful' in the recipient's view.

Tact is nothing more than trying to tiptoe around someone else's feelings. Sometimes, you just can't tiptoe lightly enough.

[spoony]

forensicpaws said:

But but you can get cooler clothes for liddle girls!!! With the bows and the pinks and the fluffies. And it doesn't really matter if you stick a girl in boy's clothes wheras it's a disaster to put a boy in pink and fuzzy!
The only babies I've ever been even remotely involved in (remotely involved means sending Xmas and birthday presents and very rarely if ever seeing them ) have been my aunts 3 young sons. I was most upset when she kept having boys as I wanted to buy the really cute girly clothes! The least she could have done was for her last kid to be a girl. I mean really.

As someone with a both a niece and a nephew, I much prefer buying clothes for little girls. Much better range and variety. Except I saw this cute little Superman tshirt that I wanted to get my niece but my sis probably wouldn't put her in it because it was too boyish. Also, girls are way more fun. I still don't know what do with my nephew because he's a boring old boy

NB: I love my niece and nephew equally ;D

I'm sorry people are arguing. I don't think offence was meant to or from anybody here.

[greenbeing]

spoony said:

I'm sorry people are arguing. I don't think offence was meant to or from anybody here.

Yes, exactly!

[awlrite4now]

greenbeing said:

The reason I did not approach in private was because this is not a "personal" attack in any way, shape, or form. Anyone on this board could (except Carl...) become blessed at any time.

Well, that's not exactly true...because I fall way past childbearing age. But it's ok, because few here knew that fact.

I put it under the Phobias thread because I found that the least offensive place. I am not really phobic, but the pictures are bright, not easily passed over, and they're all over the place. I do find them creepy, exhuberant, and neon. There are rules about where to post everything on this board, a place for everything and everything in its place. I find it great that you two have found a way to count the days, because this is probably the happiest moment in your lives. If these were the actual ultrasound pictures, which I do not find all that creepy, they would be posted in the Real Expectations thread. But I find it amazing that everyone took such great offense to the fact that I find drawings of things that are not even your own children to be less than beautiful. You can find them beautiful; I do not; I have also said nothing about your own child, but about a squiggly representation of a generic baby. My question was, is there a way to continue the countdown without the pics?

I agree with you here, GB. I don't think you are wrong in not wanting to see the graphics, because I don't like seeing them either. It's not my board, so there's nothing I can do other than voice my opinion that I'd rather not see them. The real stinker here was when the thread got moved, and ALL OUR POSTS in the first part of this thread now sport rows of fetuses.

It seems the consensus is I should ban myself from the board. Yay for popular opinion.

Maybe I should consider that too. Self-exile for the next 30 odd weeks. By then, I suppose I wouldn't care if I ever come back.

Has it never occured to anyone that some people might find pictures of unborn babies less than good memories, because they have lost a baby? Or because it reminds them of something less happy? I see this same picture on abortion posters all the time. It's unsettling.

Yes, I agree.

I asked. I did not demand it be changed. I tried to use as much tact, to be as open and public about this as I could. There was nothing sinister or personal about it.

--GB

I mean nothing personal or sinister either. But when something bothers me, I do like to say something rather than let the burr stay under my saddle. GB tried to diffuse the situation with a little humor, and she got jumped on. I'm sorry that happened.

So as long as we are talking about tickers, the main part of this thread, which keeps tracking off onto other tangents, doesn't babygaga or wherever have one that has a bit different style? Surely there is a compromise here.