Tickers

[maggiethecat]

greenbeing said:

It seems the consensus is I should ban myself from the board. Yay for popular opinion.

Good Lord! Ban yourself from the board? I don't think anyone was intending to give that impression.

Come back, Shane, come baaaaaaaaaaack . . . .

[mlm828]

greenbeing said:

It seems the consensus is I should ban myself from the board. Yay for popular opinion.

awlrite4now said:

Maybe I should consider that too. Self-exile for the next 30 odd weeks. By then, I suppose I wouldn't care if I ever come back.

I don't have a strong opinion about the tickers, one way or another. But I would hate to see the board lose GB's or Alice's or anyone's contributions because of this issue.

bjobsessed said:

I love the fact that we can experience things together, express our opinions, make mistakes, and yet still find love and forgiveness with each other. Although some of us have become real friends and many of us have had the pleasure of meeting each other, some will never have that experience. I think it is a wonderful thing that a small group of people who began as strangers from different parts of the world can develop into some kind of family and share the bonds that we do.

If this is a bump in the road that all families experience--and it seems like it might be--then let's make sure we work through it.

Exactly.

[housemouse]

So, what does everyone think:

Marty Russo: Alpha Male or Meanstreak?

[maggiethecat]

housemouse said:

So, what does everyone think:
Marty Russo: Alpha Male or Meanstreak?

I did a spit take with the morning coffee when I read this.
PERFECT! ;D

[awlrite4now]

So as long as we are talking about tickers, the main part of this thread, which keeps tracking off onto other tangents, doesn't babygaga or wherever have one that has a bit different style? Surely there is a compromise here.

Thank you. I feel much better now that everyone has lightened up.

Marty still has a mean streak, but I don't.

[inuvik]

They say if one person says something, there are 10 others that don't, but feel the same way. GB is not alone here it looks like.

I sure would hate to see anyone from this Board go!

And GB, thanks so much for the ghost story installment! I'm really enjoying it and was thrilled to see another chapter.

[hoosier]

I would also hate to lose GB or anyone from the board. I have enjoyed reading all of your posts and if I don't agree with someone's POV or them with mine, so much the better. Everyone is definitely entitled to their own opinion but , I humbly suggest, that before this spirals totally out of control and someone's feelings trampled, let everybody step back for a minute and take a deep breath. Ahhh, better? I hope so.

And GB, thanks for the updates on your two fanfics. I have really enjoyed them!

[greenbeing]

greenbeing said:

It seems the consensus is I should ban myself from the board. Yay for popular opinion.

'Twas sarcasm above. I read the post saying I should exile myself, and thought that was such a great idea that I couldn't resist commenting on it. The response to what I thought was a harmless request was overwhelming. I don't intend to punish myself by not coming back, unless the powers that be say I must, as I enjoy most of the chatter on the board, too.

I want to say thank you that the pictures have been changed. Wasn't my intention to start a big fight and get everyone up in arms, or to completely ruin any happy memories two of our board members will have about their first pregnancies, or for anyone to think I was trying to censor the board or whatever awful things happened at the old board which I was not a part of. (Pardon the dangling participle!) Thoroughly chastised, from now on, I will think twice before posting any opinion.

--GB

[Dreamfire]

I hooked onto the board this morning to find this whole thread has exploded and calmed down again before I got wind of it - must be a time delay to my town.

I still feel like a newbie on this board and am not sure my opinion is valid or if anyone wants to hear it. But I have loved being part of this board and do not wish to see it dimminish. I have also moved to a point in my life where I know I must speak my own truth. SO, here goes I hope I don't upset anyone or cause any
"who does she think she is!'s".


Sometimes when there are big disagreements within a group and it is aired like this the group settles down again and the issue (whether it be the original issue or the upset over the communications about it) sit under the skin and keep some people apart just a little.

Sometimes it actually DOES clear the air and this is usally when an expectation held by someone or the group as a whole has been uncovered and an agreement made about it so everyone knows how to continue communicating and can do it with confidence and without self doubt.

It seems to me there is an expectation that some of us have that we can say pretty much anything and people will not be precious but try to have a fairly thick skin about things.

I would hate to think that GB now feels she has to vet her opinions before she posts them.

greenbeing said:

greenbeing said:

Thoroughly chastised, from now on, I will think twice before posting any opinion.

--GB

I felt a bit like that some weeks back and just got quieter for fear of stepping on toes.

The teams I have seen move thorugh this offense/tact thing the best have become clearer on the expectations the group has.


For me I will take on board this guideline: If I feel even the tinglings of upset or offense I will first ask the person who posted the words or pictures that I did not like if they meant to offend me. It gives them a chance to re-phrase and me a chance to re-consider. I might even think of them as being a bit like a bull in a China shop, like one of my favourite characters!

I hope we can all move forward without fear of giving or taking great offense as I am sure none of us are trouble makers who enjoy that sort of thing.

I am posting this now, but it seems very forthright and I may well remove it for fear of upsetting someone. So if it dissapears, no you weren't seeing things!

natascha

epi 2 corridor outside the ME. "...you're gonna have to stop with the bull in a china shop mentality." " Is that what you've been seeing?"

[Dreamfire]

housemouse said:

So, what does everyone think:

Marty Russo: Alpha Male or Meanstreak?

Please npte this is all said with wide eyed innocent expression!

Well, alpha he may have thought so BUT until Jim arrived we had Karen ; Female therefore cannot take "Alpha makle spot" Tom too quiet and aquiessing ( don't know how to spell it but it means being ready to say yes) to take alpha male spot and Marty who is male and likes to be assertive so I guess he sat at the head of the table when there were three of them.

BUT when our Blonde Dude shows up and stumbles ( sorry Jim, meant it in the nicest way) into the spot most comfortable for him, oopseedo, there it is Alpha male position and the chair fits just right and Marty is really the only one who is protesting.
IMHO( which I relaise if totally biased!)

OOh did I just stir the worm soup?

Natascha

[shmeep]

ashatan said:

I still feel like a newbie on this board and am not sure my opinion is valid or if anyone wants to hear it. But I have loved being part of this board and do not wish to see it dimminish. I have also moved to a point in my life where I know I must speak my own truth. SO, here goes I hope I don't upset anyone or cause any "who does she think she is!'s".

It's been great having you over here, Natascha, and please continue to speak your own truth. You have a lot of interesting things to say and I know we enjoy reading your thoughts.

ashatan said:

Sometimes when there are big disagreements within a group and it is aired like this the group settles down again and the issue (whether it be the original issue or the upset over the communications about it) sit under the skin and keep some people apart just a little.

Keen insight! The issue is "solved," thanks to a private message I received two days ago, gently telling me the real reason certain things were said and done. Had that approach been used to begin with, no one would have even known anything was going on and those tickers would have been quietly switched out immediately and no one would have given that any more thought than they do when we change our avatars. So..."solved," but rankling, I'll have to admit. I'm not feeling all that chatty with much of the board at this moment and that makes me sad.

ashatan said:

I would hate to think that GB now feels she has to vet her opinions before she posts them.

greenbeing said:

Thoroughly chastised, from now on, I will think twice before posting any opinion.

I felt a bit like that some weeks back and just got quieter for fear of stepping on toes.

I wouldn't worry too much about stepping on toes. Most of us are mature adults and not all that easily offended. If something is offensive, a simple private message about it should usually solve the problem--or at least make the offender aware of it in a way that doesn't cause all hell to break loose on the board.

ashatan said:

For me I will take on board this guideline: If I feel even the tinglings of upset or offense I will first ask the person who posted the words or pictures that I did not like if they meant to offend me. It gives them a chance to re-phrase and me a chance to re-consider. I might even think of them as being a bit like a bull in a China shop, like one of my favourite characters!

I like this approach very much.

ashatan said:

I hope we can all move forward without fear of giving or taking great offense as I am sure none of us are trouble makers who enjoy that sort of thing.

I am posting this now, but it seems very forthright and I may well remove it for fear of upsetting someone. So if it dissapears, no you weren't seeing things!

I hope you don't regret posting what you said because it's one of the most reasonable things I've read in days. Thank you for sharing your opinion on the matter and for trying to keep the peace. I really appreciate that, especially since your entire post was kind-hearted and well meant.

[housemouse]

greenbeing said:

Thoroughly chastised, from now on, I will think twice before posting any opinion.

I promise GB, a thorough chastising, was not was the board administrators had in mind when taking issue with your post. The reaction was simply in response to an oddly worded missive that came across as rather thoughtless.

Please, don't think twice before sharing opinions, share away, that is what this board is all about. Think twice about the way you decide to share them. When it is something that strikes such a personal chord, a pm will do.

[maggiethecat]

Are we done here?

Oh please, I hope so. This has not been enjoyable, not in the least. This board is to me -- and has been through an amazingly stressful year -- a respite from real life, a source of terrific brain candy, and a kind of mental kaffee klatch. I do not log on to get a knot in my stomach.

This needs to be over. We all need to just take a deep breath and move on. Nobody's getting banned (how many times do the admins need to say that we don't do that here?), no one needs to go into self-imposed exile, we've done all the Exalting and Smiting required to make our opinions known, and we've all said what we wanted to say.

What have we learned, class? If someone on this board does something you find offensive or disturbing, let them know privately. End of story.

There. I said it.

[housemouse]

Kudos Maggie! Well said - let's move on!

[kytdunne]

admin said:

The issue is "solved," thanks to a private message I received two days ago, gently telling me the real reason certain things were said and done. Had that approach been used to begin with, no one would have even known anything was going on and those tickers would have been quietly switched out immediately and no one would have given that any more thought than they do when we change our avatars.

Wow. Two days before anything was said publicly. See, that's the catch with the private messages. The public can go on all unknowing what's going on behind the scenes until someone pops up with, "Oh, it was solved a couple days ago."

Public or private, pick one and stick with it. (There is also the option of saying the primary participants will move it to a private discussion, since what may not appear private to one party, is private to another.)

maggiethecat said:

Nobody's getting banned (how many times do the admins need to say that we don't do that here?), no one needs to go into self-imposed exile,

I don't remember anyone saying anything about being banned by the admins. The responses I read were in direct response to:

housemouse said:

I don't' want to sound too harsh here, but maybe those who are bothered by the signatures should avoid the board for the next 30 weeks or so.

maggiethecat said:

What have we learned, class? If someone on this board does something you find offensive or disturbing, let them know privately.

We must've mixed up the classrooms.

All I'm hearing is that if an opinion is inferred by the recipient as a personal attack, then it is a personal attack and the sender should have known that and taken steps to send the message in private. All of this is in total disregard of the sender's intention. Sounds like a lot of take and no give.

maggiethecat said:

End of story.

Now that I've had a chance to toss in my 2 cents as well, okay.

Kyt