Jim Dunbar and the Five Stages of Loss

[mlm828]

The "Five Stages of Grief" (or Loss) identified by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross have been mentioned in our discussions before. That got me wondering. Where is Jim in this process at the beginning of the series? At the end? Has he made "progress" (whatever that means) by the end of the series? Where does Galloway's comment about Jim's need to reconcile who he is, since losing his sight, fit into this process (if it does)? Does Christie's reference to "acceptance" in "Under the Gun" mean she thinks Jim has reached that stage? Is "acceptance" even a goal he should be striving for? Do these "stages" have any application at all to Jim's experience? The five stages are listed below. (Note that Kubler-Ross said not all people go through all of the stages in the order listed). What do you think?

Denial and isolation -- The "No, not me" stage: "This is not happening to me."
Anger -- The "Why me?" stage: "How dare you do this to me?!" (either referring to God, the late person, or themselves).
Bargaining -- The "If I do this, you’ll do that" stage: "Just let me live to see my son graduate."
Depression -- The "It's really happened" stage: "I can't bear to face going through this, putting my family through this."
Acceptance -- The "This is going to happen" stage: "I'm ready, I don't want to struggle anymore."

[Dreamfire]

HI,

I really want to reply to this, but maybe I'm a bit dense, he seems to be instage 5 to me.

Mind you, maybe he's running some of stage 3 barganing. "If I just solve every little thing that comes up , maybe I can keep my job and it won't matter that much anyhow" ?

Maybe it is aprogressive thing for JIm, continual stages on smaller issues. aka. "Okay I'm blind but my gun, no way I'm giving up my gun that is not happening to me."

SOme people, not me, might say the whole I'm getting job back thing is evidence of stage 1.

what do yo uthink MlM?
A

[mlm828]

When I originally posted this thread, I didn't have time to do anything but ask my questions. Here are a few of my thoughts.

I, too, think there is still some "bargaining" going on during the series -- as in, "If I can get my job back and do my job, I can deal with this (blindness)." I think that's part of what fuels Jim's determination to get his job back and then prove he can still do the job.

If "acceptance" is defined as in the original post -- basically, "I accept this as a fact of life, now I'm going to deal with it and move on" -- I think Jim has reached that point. He couldn't have gotten his act together to the extent he did, without reaching that point. But I think the type of acceptance that the series deals with is something more profound: the integration of the idea of "Jim Dunbar, blind man" into Jim's idea of who he is. I think this is a big part of the journey we see during those 13 episodes. I think Galloway is referring to the type of acceptance when he talks about the need for Jim to reconcile who he is since losing his sight. It's also the kind of acceptance Christie is referring to in her conversation with Jim about not carrying a gun any more at the end of "Under the Gun." I think giving up the gun was a big step toward that type of acceptance, but by the time the series ends, he still has a way to go.

[hoosier]

I'm with Ashatan that I'm not sure how to answer this but it is interesting to think about. It seems that Jim is at a combination of levels. He is at Level 5 to some extent since he is able to function well enough to be able to return to work. Also Level 3, because like Ashatan stated, if he works hard enough, if he "solves every little thing" everyone will agree that he can do the job, that he is not a liability and has a place on the force.

I almost think he still has some Level 1 issues. I posted this in another thread but I think its valid here too. In SWD, he mentions to Artie Steckle that he hadn't even spoken to another blind person since he left rehab. Why was that? Had he made no friends or even acquaintances there that he would care to keep in touch with? Was it intentional? So he could say that he was coping and adjusting well to his blindness as long as he didn't have to compare himself to someone else? Because rehab had served its purpose and he didn't want to be reminded of how difficult and ,yes, embarrassing it had been for him? It was a tool he had to use to get on with his life but ,once its usefulness was over, he didn't want to be reminded of his time there? Maybe this ties into Galloway's comment that he still hadn't reconciled who he was with who he is now. He still hasn't been able to fully accept who he is nor fully accept his limitations. He can say he does but has he really? And he seems to feel some sense of isolation from Christie and others. She can't really understand what he is going through. We see very few people from the time before his was blinded. Where were the people from the other precinct? Had he cut all ties with them? Why? Because he didn't want their pity. Why does he assume that they will pity him?

Oh my gosh, I am rambling on! I will stop now and see if anyone agrees or disagrees with what I said.