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Post by mlm828 on Nov 12, 2005 20:20:25 GMT -5
There is so much to like about Chapter 14 that I don't know where to start: Jim's exploration of the babies' room, the reappearance of Cara, running into Artie and Pete and revisiting Jim's discomfort at Artie's request (which Ron Eldard did so very well), and last but certainly not least, Jim's revelations to Christie at the end of the chapter. Great stuff!
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Post by rducasey on Nov 12, 2005 21:44:30 GMT -5
I agree with all that MLM said. This has to be my favorite chapter. I love how you put bits of dialogue from the series into your story and we can almost hear the characters saying it. Like "easy" in today's chapter. In Dance With Me, I thought that Ron did such a great job in conveying Jim's discomfort and fear about talking to Pete. You did such a great job in giving us a better understanding of Jim's feelings at that time. I'm going to hate to see this fine story come to an end, but can't wait for the delivery.
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Post by maggiethecat on Nov 12, 2005 23:35:49 GMT -5
Chapter Fourteen? You've done it again. Just gorgeous, and once again I am in awe of the way you can turn on a dime from laugh-out-loud humor, to the sort of deep emotional content that reveals so much about the characters. The ending of this chapter was true and lovely.
Brava!
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Post by anna on Nov 13, 2005 11:33:41 GMT -5
I'm going to hate to see this fine story come to an end, but can't wait for the delivery. End of the story? Delivery? I assume that you mean the delivery of the toast at Jim's and Christie's 50th wedding anniversary party. |
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Post by bjobsessed on Nov 13, 2005 11:37:33 GMT -5
I'm going to hate to see this fine story come to an end, but can't wait for the delivery. End of the story? Delivery? I assume that you mean the delivery of the toast at Jim's and Christie's 50th wedding anniversary party. I vote for the 50th wedding anniversary! Then we can see how their kids turn out. |
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Post by Eyphur on Nov 13, 2005 12:42:35 GMT -5
End of the story? Delivery? I assume that you mean the delivery of the toast at Jim's and Christie's 50th wedding anniversary party. I vote for the 50th wedding anniversary! Then we can see how their kids turn out. I agree. I love this story and don't want it to end. I'm really enjoying your writting style. Therefore, Fanfic Junkie says: Write more soon!!!! (Because Fanfic Junkie doesn't like waiting.) |
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Post by shmeep on Dec 1, 2005 10:37:44 GMT -5
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Post by anna on Dec 1, 2005 10:48:01 GMT -5
I love this chapter. But I still prefer Skank and Dag for the babies' names.
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Post by maggiethecat on Dec 1, 2005 11:56:44 GMT -5
Chapter Fifteen is wonderful! All the humor and pathos and emotional content we've come to expect from you, Shmeep, and you're "working" the Marty/Shannon thing with the perfect light touch. But when I got to Shannon's line," Are you talking about brain splat in front of my baby?" Well, let's just say I did a rude snort/laugh thing with my coffee and now I have to go change my shirt! Hah.  |
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Post by shmeep on Dec 1, 2005 12:56:33 GMT -5
I did a rude snort/laugh thing with my coffee and now I have to go change my shirt! Just the reaction I was going for! Thanks for the little picture of yourself you just gave us. Very entertaining. |
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Post by bjobsessed on Dec 1, 2005 23:05:20 GMT -5
Great job as usual. I loved the scene in the restaurant between Jim and Christie. Kind of makes you wonder if that's where they were headed in the series. Whether you like her or not, it's so nice to see them happy and loving each other.
Also loved the "secrets" Sharon was telling Jim about Marty.
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Post by Eyphur on Dec 1, 2005 23:21:53 GMT -5
Wow Christmas. Great Chapter! I can't wait for the babies to arrive. I'm really enjoying the relationship development between Marty and Shannon. Can't wait to see where this story goes.
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Post by Duchess of Lashes on Dec 2, 2005 19:28:06 GMT -5
Shmeep, you already know how I feel about this chapter! But I'll post it here anyway because it deserves to be!
It is, as usual, so wonderfully written - of that I had no doubt! Some of it made me laugh out loud (already mentioned by Maggie), parts of it touched me because of the strength of the sentimentality, and parts of it made me love Jim so much more, like the piece of paper in the shirt pocket, the baby comment - Cute baby - looks like me!
I also love the interaction between Marty and Mr. Dunbar - Jim's recognition of how it used to be when his Dad was proud of him. The way you have Marty bridge that gap is a terrific touch - and brings a new level of respect for the bond that has grown between Marty and Jim.
One of the best parts, though, I think is the scene that isn't - Jim waiting for Christie to jump down his throat and it doesn't happen. There are so many aspects of Christie's character that were left unanswered - this just lends itself beautifully to the hots and colds of her personality, as already established in our limited exposure to her.
I think the strength in your story is not only the quality of the writing, but the development of your characters in scenes that are easily believable.
Love it!
LongLashes
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Post by mlm828 on Dec 2, 2005 23:27:34 GMT -5
What can I say? Another favorite chapter! I especially liked Marty's influence on Jim's sister and maybe even his dad, as well as Shannon's revelations to Jim.
Glad to see the twins have made it to thirty-three weeks. Now, if Christie can just keep from going completely stir-crazy for a while longer. . . .
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Post by hoosier on Dec 3, 2005 17:31:41 GMT -5
Loved the part where Shannon told Jim what Marty thought about him and especially how Jim told Shannong she shouldn't be telling him something Marty told her in confidence! Honorable guy, our Jimmy Dunbar! I liked Jim's ideas for the names--gets my vote!
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